Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I taught him this

Warning! This post contains T.M.I. If you know me well you won't be surprised that I'm sharing, but still, don't day I didn't warn you...
Last Spring when Jackson was just potty trained, I showed him how he could use the bathroom outside, in the yard. I showed him a very concealed corner where only one neighbor, who is rarely in her yard, could see him, and only if she was looking for a 3 foot tall elf in the bushes.
His father was shocked that I would show him how to do that. If you have boys, one of the good things is that they can use the bathroom anywhere, so why not capitalize on that?
So he makes sure he uses it almost every time we are outside. The novelty has not worn off. As Spring turned to Summer he got a little more bold, but he was still always in the back yard, which while not visible from the street, is visible to 4 and a half yards. It's a slippery slope you are saying...
Fast forward to last week when we went to chic-Fil-A for lunch. As usual, I took Jackson out of his carseat first. We were parked beside a median thingy. You know the kind of thing the city makes developers put in parking lots with one scraggly tree, some monkey grass and maybe a juniper bush. The other side was the driveway to the drive thru. Jackson is V-E-R-Y good in parking lots. Always wants to hold hands and super careful. So I tell him to stand on the median thingy while I unbuckle Miller. I knew he would obey. And he did.
I'm assuming that you have been to Chic-Fil-A and you know what it is like there are 12:17 on a Thursday. Slap full parking lot and Drive Thru line.
When I turn around from unbuckling Miller from his carseat, that boy is watering the Monkey grass. In full view. Of all the cars. And all the people eating lunch.
Why, does he see the need to humiliate me like that? Why do I have to learn lessons the hard way? Why is it so hard to pull up underwear when you are holding a squirmy 1 year old?
I hustled his little exhibitionist self right into the Chic-Fil-A as fast as I could. It was a few steps before I remembered what I always say to my friends when they share a story about something embarassing that their child has done, "You need to hold your head up high and smile, because everyone is looking at you!"


  1. That is so funny! I bet when all those people came to lunch they had no idea they were going to get a little show! All children have to do something to embarrass us... it's their job.

  2. I love it. I am sitting at work laughing out loud. I knew where you were going with the story, but I just had to keep reading. The image in my head will make me laugh all day. Sorry that it is at your expense. Well told!

    Thanks for the cautionary tale.


  3. The FIRST thing I have to say is, the novelty won't wear off, ever. I know someone (fully grown) who takes the opportunity to pee outside just as many chances as he can get. The SECOND thing I have to say is, you said it sistah, YOU taught him this! HA! So funny.
    Love you.

  4. That Jackson will always keep you on your toes!! This is just his warning to you!!!



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