What the Heck Wednesday—Ridin’ Island Style

Like all good children of the 70’s, we rode around in the back of trucks.  We also rode in cars with no seatbelts {in the backseat of course} station wagons and even our Grandmother’s Ford Pinto with a dog cage installed.  Anything with questionable safety…been there, done that!  As times have changed people take less risks with safety. 

However here in the Bahamas I think there is sometimes the mentality of, “We aren’t going that fast, so we won’t get hurt.”  Which is why I see this each and every day. {I was actually stopped so it was safe to take the picture} 

On this day a funny thing happened. Pure Coincidence. 

In the evening after I took this photo, a friend of Allen’s asked for his help moving something heavy.  There were about 5 men helping.  They were going from an adjacent neighborhood to our neighborhood.  So they were all riding in the back of a pickup.  No big deal.  Once they got it moved into the house all the guys had to ride back over to the first house to get their cars.  The kids of course want to join their dads in the back of the truck.  I immediately say, “No”.  Allen immediately says, “Come on!”  I was thankful that Miller was already on his bike and riding home as this went down.  Jackson was all in!

It reminds me of this commercial.  I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned it before, but I do love it!

What the heck Wednesday- Tenting

When we moved here, I had no idea how frequently I would see this in my neighborhood.

This is the house across the street from us.  It is a lovely home with gorgeous royal palms out front and apparently termites inside.

When houses here get termites {and living in this climate, they all do at some point or another} they put these giant tents on them, attach a tank of poison gas insecticide  to a hose going through to the house and leave it like this for 3 days.  it penetrates the wood and walls killing the termites.

If there is any doubt if you should go in or not, they put this sign in the yard. 

Just in case you were considering going in…

Then when the three days are up, the exterminators come and remove the tent, and the family moves back in.  To the house with poison in it.

We found that one of our kitchen cabinets has termites.  We reported it to the landlord and so far we haven’t had much of a response.  Hopefully if it gets worse we will be long gone from this house!  Who knows since those termites were recently evicted from the house across the street we may be seeing this much sooner than we would like!

Anyone want to come visit?

What the Heck? Wednesday

I haven’t done a What the Heck Wednesday post in ages!  It’s not because there is a shortage of crazy things here, but they may be getting more  “normal” to me and I don’t get my camera.

Last week we had a power outage.  It isn’t that unusual here, but this time it was off from 9 a.m until 3:30 a.m. the next day.  It was pretty hot that afternoon when I decided that having ice cream for dinner was a good idea. 

The fact that I saw someone from the power company at about 6p.m. and when I asked if he was about to turn the power back on and he looked at me sheepishly and said, “The good news is that we know what the problem is.  The bad news is that we don’t know where the problem is.”  Yep I know what the problem is too mister.  It’s broken!

After Allen got home, we put the boys in the car and told them we were going to dinner.  They were mighty excited when we pulled up at Dairy Queen.  When we were mostly finished with our dinner when Miller said he was still hungry.

He then suggested that we have Domino’s for dessert. You would have to be a cold hearted grinch to say no to that! 

So we got a pizza and took it home and had dessert on the patio.  Then we got in bed for a very hot and sweaty night. 

It was so nice to have power back the next day.  The boys were so happy to tell their friends at school that they had Dairy Queen for dinner and Domino’s for dessert…. I just stopped sweating glistening, and I don’t take my AC for granted.

What the Heck? Wednesday…Wrong Turn

Y’all I just don’t even know how to explain this one.  So I will start at the beginning, the very beginning.  Sunday afternoon I went to the store to pick up necessities and they were out of bread.  Well they had bread.  One loaf and that is it.  I think instead of adding to the nutrition in my children's’ bodies, this is actually negative nutrition!  They also didn’t have any milk.  Sundays can be hit or miss at the store, so I knew we had enough to last us a day or two.  So I bought the bread and skipped the milk.  Monday afternoon we are running low on milk, so I run up to the store and there is none.  No Milk!  Still.  I go to the other store.  No Milk!  Great.

Since we really needed milk I headed to the 3rd store.  On my way I came across an accident scene.  It looks like everyone was ok.

Except the bus.

The tracks in the sand we about 50 yards long and there was no visible point of entry.  So strange.  There is a large curb where the bus must have entered the beach, but it looks fine. { I didn’t have a picture of the curb from today, but here is one like it on a different stretch of the beach}  you can’t just jump that and not leave a mark!

So I got to the 3rd store and guess what?  They have no milk!  Ok they had milk, soy milk, almond milk and organic lactose free milk. Well fiddle dee dee.

So I headed back to the house {with organic lactose free milk that was way too expensive} and saw the progress they had made  getting bus off the beach.

There were a couple of guys scratching their heads over how to get it over this 18{ish} inch cement curb.  I would have loved to stick around for the show, but I had to get my precious milk in the fridge.

One the up side I did get to drive along this gorgeous stretch of scenery both ways to the store! 

I think I got a pretty good bargain after all!

What in the world?

Over the break Jackson was outside playing and I had the door open.  he called me to come outside and see his new discovery.

He found a never before discovered blue lizard!

Bless his heart this poor guy had fallen into a paint bucket.  And made it out!  No wonder Jackson caught him because he was quite slow.

We put him in the bushes and wished him well.

What the Heck? Wednesday- Quality Stamps

This morning I was doing this…

Another quirky thing here in the Bahamas is that we have “Quality Stamps” at the grocery store.  You get a stamp for every $10 you spend.  You put 12 stamps to a sheet and then each sheet is a voucher for a dollar.

It reminds me of Green Stamps.  My mom wasn’t that into them, but I remember thinking that the new sets of dishes and silverware sure were fancy!

I like to save the Quality Stamps up and then use them all at once.  I think I ended up with 35 today.  Yes, we spend a ton of money on groceries here!

What the Heck? Wenesday

Last week I made reference to a bit of Bahamian slang.  I absolutely love the Bahamian people and thus love their language. 

When we first got here, the movers asked me as they finished unpacking our things, “You straight?”  Hmmm, you just unloaded all my husbands things I have 2 kids what do you think?  As it turns out, “You straight?” is slang for “is everything OK?”

It has taken me a while to really grasp the beauty of it.  I hope you enjoy it too.

So here is a list of Bahamian slang for you!

• back-back: to go in reverse in a car

• Biggety – bold and argumentative (see some of my posts for an example)

• Boongie – butt

• buck up: to crash, as in car

• bust up: drunk

• Brought-upcy – manners

• Bubbies – big breasts

• Chirren – childrenconchy joe: watch out for Joe! Usually a white Bahamian

• Curren’ – electricity

• Cut hip – a good beating

• Ferl – aluminum foil

• Georgie bundle– Used in “I ga pack up my georgie bundle and go” (leave a relationship)

• Grabalicious – greedy

• Gubment – government

• Gussy mae– a heavy set Bahamian woman who has bubbies, and huge peas & rice boongie

• jam up: too crowded

• Joneser- a person who will wash you car for a dollar to support their addiction

• Jook– to stab someone with an underhand motion

• Mudda Sick – Wow

• “Mussy”: - maybe...there is a possibility

• No-manners– self explanatory (example: no-manners chirren usually get a good cut hip)

• Numbers– lottery (as in playing the “numbers”)associated with “web shops”

• Outside chirren- (children out of wedlock and with a sweetheart)

• “Pants Gunnin” – when ones long pants are noticeably to small. The ankles are visible when they should be covered by the pants leg.

• Peas and rice boongie– a very large butt

• Potcake – a dog of mixed breed or burnt rice at the bottom of the pot

• sip sip: gossip

• Slam bam- a slice bologna between two pieces of bread

• Spry – sparsely showered rain

• Sweetheart – a husband’s “other” woman or a wife’s “other” man

• tote news: to gossip

• Vell Muddoes : is an exclaimation, meaning wow

• Ya ma! – You lie!

Now I have to let you see this video.  It is Ha-Lar-E-us!

What the Heck? Wednesday

Has anyone else seen anything like these in the stores?

 

I think they’re carrots.  They may actually be orange bats.  Guess who decided to do a taste test and see if they really are carrots?  Don’t worry, I wiped it off on my shorts before I put it back!

What the Heck? Wednesday

Really the Bahamas has the best signs.  I saw this one last week at Compass Point.

It is clear and makes the point well.  We learned this lesson the hard way.

When we had been here for almost a year Allen left his shorts{ with his wallet in the pocket} in the car.  He is careful, so he  made sure to put it all the way under the seat.  We went back to the car a couple of times and one of those times we must have forgotten to lock it.  When we were leaving, Allen realized his shorts had been taken out of the car.  He was more bummed about losing his favorite belt that the wallet.

Another time we had a friend visiting and she left a bag on the front seat of the car.  When we came back, this was what we saw.

Boo!  Lesson learned!

What the Heck? Wednesday

I’ve been driving past this sign for a while.  It is in front of the sign for our neighborhood. I think they are doing something important like replacing the water meter for the neighborhood.  Like many projects here, they are started and then just left for a while.   Which is probably why they turn off our water ever night at 10 p.m.  They’ll finish it…eventually.
The other day as I was pulling in I noticed a little something that made me laugh out loud.   Do you see it?

These signs are no doubt hand made, but they are also hilarious!  Now do you see it?
Look at it closer!

The worker’s braids are sticking out from his cap!  It is a real depiction of a Bahamian worker.  There is just one or two parts that aren’t quite accurate.  However I love the Bahamians and don’t want to insult anyone, so I’ll let you make whatever observations you might.

What the Heck? Wednesday!

Warning: Adults only.  My children ride by this one every day, but even though they are both reading, thankfully they haven’t been able to read the whole thing yet!

This What the Heck? Wednesday sign has taken me a while to get a picture of.  It is on a busy street but at an intersection.  If you slow down, you’ll get run over.  Parking and getting out in this area may be dangerous too.  I pulled into the driveway and took the picture and then realized my mistake.  I’d have to back out into an intersection.  Sweet Jesus!  I made it by acting like a local… pretending that I wasn’t a bit nervous pulling some crazy driving maneuver and making everyone else come to a stop to accommodate me.  Been here 3 years now.  I can drive like a local!

It was for you my readers.  Here is this week’s gem!

It says,

“GIVE IT TIME TO RIPE

You’re still young.

Have fun!

Get to know each other.

Hang out in groups.

Abstain.”

Those are all good advice, things I might say myself if my boys were older, but the next part, I might choose to phrase a little differently.  What do you think?

“Slide one on before you slide it in.  Lubricate.  Condoms save lives; wear one every time.”

Brought to you by the National HIV/AIDS Programme/Ministry of Health

They take these signs seriously!  Remember this one?

What the Heck? Wednesday

This is the newest beverage vendor on the island.  They are advertising quite a bit too!

What do you think?

What the heck? Wednesday

This week’s WtHW is from our recent trip to SC.

I love this store so much that I could do a whole series of WtHW posts on the signs and people of the Briar Patch…

What the Heck? Wednesday

While we were in Greenville we had to do a little bit of traveling to find a Waffle House that wasn’t full of cigarette smoke and wasn’t really packed either.  We came up aces in Taylors.

Not only did we get some scattered, smothered and covered, we also got a rare sighting of Napoleon Dynamite!

He is a little older now, but I am sure we all understand what eating in Waffle Houses and smoking Pall Mall cigarettes will do to you!

He was chain smoking the entire time he was there.  He didn’t even stop smoking while he was picking his nose.

I’m just glad that with everything Napoleon has been through, he is alive and well.

If you haven’t seen Napoleon Dynamite, you need to fix that.

What the Heck? Wednesday

It has been too long since I had a What the Heck? Wednesday!  The boys have been home and I have no time to blog.  What can I say?  I hope you’ll both forgive me!

So I had to get this one in before we head to SC.  Who came up with this name? 

It looks like it could be in South Carolina, but it is, in fact, in The Bahamas.  We will be in South Carolina very soon, though.  It made me think of one of my all time favorite names of a town in South Carolina! 

Before you think something unsavory happens there, rest assured.  It got the name because the cows there gave the sweetest milk in the area.

Yep we are heading to the place I will always consider home: South Carolina!  Actually by the time you read this we may be in the air.  {Don’t think about breaking into our house though because my NRA member, expert marksman husband is saying home}.

I am bringing the ipad, and I’m pretty sure I can’t blog from the ipad, so you’ll have to forgive my absence.  If you just can’t do without us, please follow along on Instagram!

What the Heck? Wednesday: Water Woes

Do you ever turn on your sink and nothing comes out?  When we lived in the U.S. this never happened.  Or it happened so infrequently that it seemed like it never happened.  It happens all the time here.

There are no good reasons for this to keep happening.  It just happens.  Sometimes it is Monday at 4 p.m., sometimes it is Saturday at 10 a.m.

The first year we lived here, the water would go off quite a bit overnight.  We didn’t really know it until I would go to turn on the shower and it would splash me in the face.  When it turns back on, the air in the pipes makes it go a little crazy when you first turn it on.  Nothing like a little cold water in all over your nightgown to wake you up!

We also run our dishwasher at night.  You know what happens when you run the dishwasher and the water goes off?  Plastic melts.  No fun!

You know when you really need a shower, like you just played tennis in the heat and humidity and you come home expecting a nice long shower?  Then you get in and nothing comes out.  Womp, womp, womp!

Recently, the water outages have been sporadic.  Saturday we had friends over for dinner and as we are preparing everything, the water goes out.  6 adults and 6 kids.  We just pulled the jugs of water out and kept on going.  Don’t think anyone really noticed.

Doesn't everyone save their milk jugs and fill them with water?  We keep several gallons under each sink so that when the water goes out {and you’ve already put a pump of soap in your hands}  you can still wash your hands and flush the toilet.

When we first moved here we heard all kinds of theories as to why the water was out.  We heard that all the water comes in on a barge {true} and that sometimes the barge doesn't get here before it runs out.  That could be the case, but then it wouldn’t come back on in a couple of hours.  We also heard that they turned it off at night so that the people who were watering grass wouldn’t waste the water. Hmm, seems like they would get found out pretty quickly.  Then there are the neighborhood conspiracies.  Some people think that it is the homeowners association turning off the water.  I’ve seen the guys who work maintenance around here have to come out late at night.  They looked like they had to {briefly} step away from the Heinekens, so I don’t think they are doing it.

So that means it could only be one thing.  Island Luck.  That’s what I am going to remember whenever I feel bugged by not having water.  It’s Island Luck.  We are lucky enough to live here and there are some prices to be paid for living in paradise.  Water or no water.  If we get desperate, there’s always the ocean!

What the Heck Wednesday? Mosquitos

Ok so it goes without saying that living on a tropical island we are guaranteed to have mosquitos.  We are also guaranteed to have them 9 months out of the year..if not year around.

However, with all the rain we have recently had, they are relentless.  As soon as you walk out the door, you are now guaranteed to have a swarm on you in seconds.  Off can not keep up with that.

Yes, I know we have to get rid of any stagnant water, but try telling that to all the land that is still covered in water.  Wetlands here are still under water.  Can’t get rid of the wetlands!  Otherwise we might kill some rare curly tailed lizard that is endangered.

Two summers ago there was an outbreak of Dengue Fever.  Doesn’t that sound like a third world disease?  Oh, yeah, it is!  Then there is West Nile, Malaria and some other nasty sounding mosquito bourn illnesses.

To add insult to injury, they have invaded the house.  Nothing makes me as mad as sitting in my house and getting mosquito bites.  Especially since getting outside is basically equivalent to donating blood without the “doing good” part, right now.

You know what’s not right?  Getting bit by a mosquito in your house!  That is just basically uncivil.

  They seem to be hitchhiking inside on us when we come in. You would think that the hundreds of lizards we have in these parts would do their duty and eat all these mosquitos up.  They could have a full belly.

I guess they are used to being lean and hungry because they are not helping!

So here is my question.  Do you think that $400 for a mosquito trap thingy would be indulgent?  I could buy a lot of lizards for that amount of money.

What the Heck Wednesday? Waterlogged!

When we get rain, it is typically an afternoon storm that builds for several hours and then dumps for about 30 minutes and passes.  Last week as we got back from Spanish Wells it began raining…hard. 

Our side of the island got about 5 inches of rain.  The East side got up to 15 inches of rain.  A hurricane typically brings 9-12 inches.  People prepare for that.  Not just a random Sunday evening where they get 15 inches.  Needless to say there was flooding.

Monday afternoon it started to rain.  We probably got 3 inches Monday night.  Tuesday it REALLY started to rain.  We got about 5 or 6 more inches.  Today is Wednesday, schools are cancelled and it is raining steadily.  We have had some passing bands that have dumped very heavy rain.

It is expected to continue through Saturday.

Here is the weather report:

...NEWS BULLETIN FOR IMMEDIATE BROADCAST FLOOD WARNING...
Residents throughout the archipelago should brace themselves for continued moderate to heavy rainfall throughout the day (Wednesday) and lasting through Friday night.
A broad area of moist unstable air extending southwest to northeast from the Caribbean Sea will generate heavy rainfall and thunderstorms across the entire archipelago. Conditions are favourable for flooding in low-lying areas.
Winds are expected to reach 30 miles per hour or more in embedded thunderstorms. Tornadoes are likely to be spawned from the thunderstorms.
A severe thunderstorm warning will be issued when necessary.
The Department of Meteorology is appealing to residents in flood prone areas to be prepared to evacuate at a moment’s notice. Residents are advised not to drive, walk or play in flood waters as the depth can easily be misjudged. All efforts should be made to protect lives and property.

So that brings me to another wet topic.  Hurricane Season.  It officially begins on June 1. Here is the  report:

Outlook says there is a 70 percent likelihood of 13 to 20 named storms (winds of 39 mph or higher), of which 7 to 11 could become hurricanes (winds of 74 mph or higher), including 3 to 6 major hurricanes (Category 3, 4 or 5; winds of 111 mph or higher).
These ranges are well above the seasonal average of 12 named storms, 6 hurricanes and 3 major hurricanes.

Coincidentally I just purchased this from Lands End. 

I’ve always wanted to channel the Gorton’s Fisherman!

 

I wish it would hurry up and get here!  Stay dry, y’all!

What the Heck Wednesday? Tourists

My smart husband has been known to say, “Stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason.”  He is absolutely correct.

It doesn’t take too long to live in a vacation destination before you get a little weary of the tourists. We are just as guilty as anyone else.  I am sure if I flew to New York City tomorrow I would get a lot of eye rolls from the locals.

You see when we think of ourselves as tourists, we think we look something like this.

In reality we look like this

In order to make it more fun I’ve stared naming the tourists…according to the stereotype.  Of course it can be difficult to get photos without being too obvious!  But I have rounded up a few from my files!

Cruise ship families.

College age partiers

The “oh so typical” type.  Oh wait, that is my brother!  I think he gave his wife the fanny pack by this time!

The Brazilians

The Asians also known as “I will perish before sun ever touches my skin”

The “my sunburns turn into tan” type.

The “I’m too sexy for me to notice your kids splashing me” type

You can look at it a couple of different ways.  These people are coming here to experience new things and yet they are so much of what they are in their world, that they become a stereotype.   or you could say that these tourists bring valuable money and resources to a place with little of either.  We love tourists!

What kid of tourist are you?

Angry Birds

We all know and love the game, but yesterday Hank and I played a real life version of the game!

After lunch I went for a short walk with my camera.  Hank followed along {and pretended to be deaf when I called him}.  There were some gorgeous things I had been noticing that I wanted to capture and possibly paint.

As we were walking back towards our house I stopped to take some shots and Hank continued a little further towards home.  He stopped to smell the bushes when I noticed that there were two birds that were very disturbed that he was in their space.  They continued to swoop down and flap their wings at him while making loud calls.

Can you see it here?  How about if I tell you that Hank is in the bushes closest to the road?

How about if I do this?  See the bird flying in from where the dark green trash can is?

Hank was so terrified he may never recover!

See the terror in his eyes?

“Oh, Hey! There you are!”

“Are you coming?  My nap isn’t going to take itself.”

“OK, I’ll come get you.”

As Hank came to see what I was up to the birds kept him under close watch.

“Oh look!  More bushes to smell!”

“I think I hear my boys playing {Told you he just plays deaf!}

“Time to go get that nap!”

Not only did he never hear a thing, he never saw a thing either.

He’s a good dog, but somewhere along the way he lost any and all bird dog instincts!