Miller

This post has been a long time coming.  It is taking me so long because I just keep changing my mind.  Or rather my mind keeps being changed for me.

When I was in labor with Miller, the doctor came in and checked me and said I had about 4 hours to go.  Miller arrived 20 minutes later.  It is a perfect analogy for Miller because he does things his own way and we are often times left just shaking our heads at him.

Since he was born Miller has always been different. Not in a bad way, either. He is just so Miller.   With him, he is just BIG.  He is big happy, big sad.  Big excited and big frustrated.  Most people absolutely adore him but there are a handful that are overwhelmed by him.  I get it. 

He requires more.  More supervision, more correction and more effort in general.  He also is more fun, more imaginative and more loving.

This Winter Miller went through a really difficult time at school.  He seemed frustrated and was acting out.  He couldn’t seem to settle himself and he was causing problems in his class.

The principal was out of ideas, the teacher was out of ideas and I was out of ideas.  What did he need that he wasn’t getting?  The principal suggested taking him for psycho educational evaluation.  I was blindsided.  Did she mean to insinuate that he wasn’t perfect? 

I’ve never been under the illusion that he is an easy child, but his shortcomings were certainly cancelled out by other amazing aspects of his character, right? 

It took me about a day to get my mind around it, but then I realized what a good idea this could be.  After all we weren’t going to find out anything that wasn’t already there.  It was just a tool to help us understand him.

The process for getting the testing approved and scheduled was an exercise in patience.  Eventually we got it all scheduled and Miller and I went to Miami for a week’s worth of testing.  If we were going to go through with it we wanted to get a total picture of him. 

He was tested in Physical Therapy, Speech, Occupational Therapy, Vision and Hearing and then there were the intelligence tests and aptitude tests.  He was awesome.  He loved all the one on one attention and really did well.

We came away with lots of great information.  He’s doing well in so many areas.  He needs to work on his small motor skills. 

The best news was his IQ test.  He is crazy smart.  I knew he was smart, but I had no idea that he was that smart.

We also got a diagnosis of ADHD.

I’m not surprised, but I kind of hoped he would outgrow some of his over activity and that it would be something we wouldn’t have to have to deal with.  The doctor gave us some suggestions of things to try with him.  She also made it clear that medication is a very likely needed for him.

Initially, I balked a bit and said he was too young and that we would only look at medicine as a last resort.  She very calmly nodded her head and then said that ADHD is a brain disorder and that if he had another brain disorder, we would medicate him without question. 

It kind of rocked my world.  It, in a wierd way, made me give myself a break and see that there wasn’t anything “wrong” with giving him medication if it is something that he needs.  If his brain needs a medication to get the most out of it, why would we deny him that?
So Miller went back to his regular class and showed us what he thought about being labeled.  He has been perfect.  He has been behaving appropriately and completing his work.  He hasn’t had any episodes of frustration or outbursts.

{He did say, “Good morning Miss Poopypants” to a teacher instead of calling her by her actual name.  He is still Miller after all.}

One of my good friends {who knows and understands Miller}hadn’t seen him in a few weeks and she was with us for an afternoon.  After a while she asked me when we started him on medication.  After my initial shock wore off, I realized what a compliment that was.

So here we are with all this information about Miller.  He has a diagnosis!  Miller does not like being pegged.  As soon as you think you’ve got him figured out he flips it all on you.  He just wants us to know that this isn’t the end of the story.  He has a lot more to show us.

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” - Dr. Seuss