Monday, March 17, 2014

Dating

At the beginning of this school year I decided that on Friday afternoons Miller and I would go on a date.  Since Jackson has school until three, we have some one on one time I thought it would be nice to just call it a date.  Occasionally Jackson and I will go out on a date, but I really have to entice him to leave his friends and spend time alone with me!  I’m going to have to up my game with him!

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Over time I have realized that it is so important for us to have time together for real conversations.  Boys need their father, but they also need their moms too.  There are so many things that I worry that I will forget to tell them.  Going on a date gives me the chance to share things with them that I wouldn’t normally tell them between peanut butter sandwiches and soccer practice.

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Since they were tiny boys I have prayed that they would grow up to be fine men, yet as much as I need God’s help with that, I know that we as parents are responsible for so much of it.  I also know that these boys will grow up to be some lucky woman’s husband and I feel a real responsibility to make sure that they are prepared for that.

So I’ve really been thinking of what I want them to know to be a gentleman and a fine man.  Here are some of the things we are working on.

*Always ask your date out on date.  It needs to be clear and straightforward.

*Pay for your date.  Part of being a gentleman is picking up the tab.  If you can’t afford it, change your plans, but never ask your date to pay.

*Listen to your date.  Make the effort to make conversation and listen to what she has to say.

*Open the door for your date.  Not just one door, but all doors.

*Be respectful.  This is huge. Girls and boys are very different and what boys think is funny is sometimes not funny to girls, being respectful of that, will go a long way!

*A date should be a date…meaning we don’t play Legos on our date unless that is what we plan to do.  A date is making plans and experiencing things together.  Going to the park is as good of a date as going to the opera, but you need to make it a little different than going to the park with your friends.

*Make eye contact.   It matters.

There are so many more things about dating that I need to tell them, but right now we are starting with these.

That being said this is what happened last week….

Miller has been disappearing after school and has been found reading in Jackson’s classroom.  {While Jackson is having soccer practice Miller plays on the playground, he then scoots around the back of the playground and goes around the other side of the school in order to sneak into the second grade classroom.} Once he has the teacher alone he goes in and sits on her lap and asks her to read to him.  How can you not?  I do know that she has things to do after school and I am always surprised when she comes around with Miller.

I knew he had a thing for her.  She is lovely and has a cute British accent, so I get it!  So on Wednesday she comes and tells me that he has come up to her on the playground and looked right into her eyes and said,

“Your eyes are beautiful.  They are like the Bahamas flag, yellow, blue and black.”

Then he asked her to go on a date and get ice cream.

I think I’ve got all the time in the world to nurture him into a gentlemen and he has gone and already asked a grown woman out on a proper date before he is 6.  I better get going!

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